What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 29.06.2025 05:52
But, we were locked up after school.
Would this be the day?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Why am I attracted to older men?
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
We all went to grammer schools
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Listen to the eerie sounds of Mars recorded by a NASA rover - Mashable
I never cut or harmed myself..
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
How do you emotionally react to when others seem to feel sorry for you?
So whats the point in blame.
One cannot live in the past .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
What are some funny and smart quotes?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Why is Taylor Swift re-recording her albums?
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Scientists: We Built 'World's Smallest Violin' - Newser
She loved him until the end.
And i lived it daily.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
What did i know ?
How the Indiana Pacers Spun Style Into Substance - The Ringer
Im still living with it.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I couldn’t, believe it.
How can someone living alone in their own apartment reduce the cost of their electric bills?
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Street Dog Who Fought to Survive by Eating Rocks and Dirt Has Us in Tears - PetHelpful
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
MIT’s Chilling Experiment That Could Prove Gravity Is Quantum - SciTechDaily
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
The two rules investors need to follow right now as the S&P 500 eyes a return to 6,000 - MarketWatch
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
So, i spoilt her more .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
If you get a chance to have sex with either Kajal Agarwal or Samantha, who would you choose and why?
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
My life is so biszare .
(And it was in our own minds.)
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I was seconnd youngest,
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
We were not on the streets..
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
This is soul school!.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I had hoped to write a book about this .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
The only rule us 5 kids had .
But ive been too sick for many years..
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
But it wasn’t much.
I don,t even have a pension.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I was 9 years of age.
I was very sick at this time too.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
It was going to be , some day.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Who then, do I blame.?
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I was scared of men, in general
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I write beautiful poetry .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Ive learnt so much.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
She wouldn,t have been !
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Especially a lifetime of it.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I waited trembling.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Comes on , in middle age.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I have no regrets .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Put me off passion for life!!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
All the time i was locked up.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
My family never makes their pension either.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I said to her
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
She found it foreign!.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
He knew the spot.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I think the readers, may guess!
I will be 64.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
She married twice! .
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
She was in good health!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
When she asked me how she looked .
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
They are buried together, in the same grave..